A long time ago, I was working with a therapist who used hypnosis to try to cull information from my subconscious. I was very focused at that time on answering the big question: will I ever become a wife and mother? In one particular session, while under hypnosis, my therapist suggested that I try to “see” what that might look like.
I saw myself sitting in a field of tall grass and wild flowers. I was lying back against a man’s chest. I turned my head upwards to see his face, but I couldn’t quite get a glimpse. When I looked forward again, there was a small child, with long blonde hair, skipping around. The sun was shining brightly, casting a yellow haze across the sky.
Back in my normal state of consciousness, I felt oddly relieved, as if something had settled down inside of me. I walked over the bridge of my subconscious mind to a place that wasn’t exactly real, but that felt true – as if a force, that understood something that I didn’t, guided me there to witness that which I most deeply desired. That force? The guide? It was the Empress, the fourth of the Major Arcana cards of the Tarot.
The Empress is the archetypal Earth Mother. She sits on a throne, surrounded by nature’s lush abundance, under a yellow sky. Atop her blonde hair, she wears a twelve-starred crown, representing her control over the year. Her long flowing robes are decorated with pomegranates cut open to reveal their seeds symbolizing sexuality and fertility.
It is said that the Tarot doesn’t tell your future – it helps you create your future by accessing inner wisdom that leads to transformation. And that is exactly what happened to me. I discovered yoga and encountered some very special teachers, each of whom held up a mirror to my soul. They taught me to ask questions, to think differently and to go beyond what I thought was possible on every level – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Time passed and I met a man – a man who smiled so brightly that I wanted to follow him around wherever he went. There was something familiar about him, as if I knew him. My younger self never would have believed that our meeting could have been the result of knowledge I already possessed about my future because I, like so many of us, was acculturated to disconnect from any possibility of divine intervention.
But I came to realize the spiritual truth – that there is something greater than my own individual consciousness that connects us all.
God. The higher Self. The Universe. The Force. Love.
It doesn’t matter what it is called. I just know it exists, and I have proof. The man I eventually married, the man who became the father of my child, is the man who was there with me in the field that day.